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Deb's Day

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Confessions Of A Cancer Patient 
Thank you all so much for your VERY generous donations. Through this link even you guys in OZ can donate which is fantastic. http://www.justgiving.com/deborahwinchester

This has been a very low week for me this week, not just because my body is trying to recover after my 5th intravenous poison overload, but because I have had ENOUGH and am truly, deeply, utterly sick of feeling so bad. As if by magic, several lovely things happened to me today. I received a beautiful card from my mum (thanks Wil!) and another lovely card from a very special friend. Then a text came from another incredibly thoughtful friend inviting me to a lovely day of lunch and a pamper at the Rye Retreat! And as I log on and check my emails tonight I see that my fantastic sister-in-law has managed to book us tickets to see The Sound of Music next Friday in London!!!!! Wow!!! And now I turn on the TV and see the truly inspirational Annie Lennox doing her thing with the little children in Africa whose families have died from AIDS, and I wonder, what is this really all about? How is it possible to keep perspective of your own life and mortality in this world we live in? This whole cancer thing is bloody hard on the brain…..I could ramble for hours here….but instead I will include a few true confessions. We can ponder the heavy stuff later….

Confessions of a Cancer Patient

1. Today I dressed Jacob in the jeans he wore yesterday (which were dirty) because I am sick of the bloody washing.
2. When people STARE AT ME I want to say ‘Would you like to stroke my bald head or contribute to my Live Another Week fund?’
3. I tried to paint on some eyebrows today but ended up looking like a bald Gordon Brown.
4. I threw 4 recyclable items in my rubbish bin today because I couldn’t be bothered trying to save the planet when I’m investing so much energy into trying to save me.
5. I ate 3 sweets from Jacob’s party bag when he wasn’t looking.
6. I am having fantasies about the smell of shampoo.
7. When someone tells me they have a cold or a headache and feel TERRIBLE I want to stick pins in their nipples and sand in their mouth and really give them something to moan about.

Have a great weekend, Deb x

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Wanna See My New Shoes????? 
Hello everyone. I am feeling a bit more cheery today as I spent the day yesterday at Bluewater! Nothing like a bit of retail therapy to cheer you up. It was lovely there – great variety of shops but the best part for me was going to Pret a Manger where they have the best salads and sandwiches. Very delicious! I am not normally a ‘shoe person’ but I bought the best shoes – quite pink and garish! I figure people will be so busy looking at my unmissable shoes they might not notice the lack of hair on my head!

Things are looking up now that we have more daylight hours in the evening too. All we need is some spring like weather…..I am currently chitting my potatoes on the windowsill (the gardeners out there will not be alarmed by this) and have now got all my seeds and pots ready to go. I am planning to grow masses of veggies and salad this year so I can be sure of fresh, organic produce. If I get really good I will bore you all with lots of photos of beans and tomatoes!

Tomorrow is C day, number 5, and I have to go to Eastbourne hospital (they said it is because some of the chemo machines need servicing, but I think it is because I made such a fuss last time they want to get rid of me!)

I have been swimming several times, been to Body Balance and even went for a little run last night. This is not only due to a desire to stay fit ( or I should say, get fit!), but more out of a desperate attempt to stop Rupert the rabbit settling in wobbly patches on my thighs! Yes, he didn’t last long I’m afraid, but he was really delicious!

A final reminder to everyone….if you want to do the Ribbon Walk with me let me know as I have just set some training dates for some long walks and will email you with the details. Log onto www.ribbonwalk.org.uk for more info. Some of you have already pledged a donation which is very kind of you and next week I will tell you how you can donate on my ‘justgiving’ page which I will set up soon or other ways of donating. Think about joining us though – it will be a brilliant day and a great chance to get fit (or fitter!).
Love Deb x
PS Hello Nadiya – can you email me your contact details?
PPS Hello Bev – lovely to hear from you, and welcome Martee!!!! Is that some kind of disguise Maree????
PPS A big tip for you....write your comment in word first then copy and paste - you will never lose it!!!!!!

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Not Enough For A Snowman! 

If you look closely enough at this picture of Jacob and his friend Rachael you will see the snow! Easter here was VERY cold with several small dismal attempts at a snowfall but it didn't settle. My weekend was brightened up by the appearance of the largest chocolate bunny you have ever seen! Gary and Jan delivered him on Saturday and the children are already desperate to 'crack' him but he is far too cute to be eaten yet!

I went swimming a couple of times over the weekend and it is certainly helping with the mobility in my shoulder. I have something called 'cording' in my arm now which often happens as a result of the surgery and is exacerbated by chemo. It feels like someone is pulling all the tendons in my inside arm out through my wrist. Very painful. My other arm is more painful however, due to the veins being inflamed because of the irritants in the chemo. I thought things would start to look more positive as I only have two more cycles to go now, but it seems the road back to 'normality' is still a long way off. As I have nothing cheerful or humorous to say I will sign off. You might like to know that despite the fact that most bodily hair has now disappeared the little blighters on my legs are still hanging on! This morning as I attempted to put mascara on my three remaining lower eyelashes I noticed that my eyebrows are looking very sparse. Do you think they make eyebrow wigs? See you soon, Deb x

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